I honestly wish or hope everyone can see through the smile on my face. I hurt deep down but the people I care about are too busy to see it. Everyday, I have a lot of things to deal with internally and still appear to be fine. I would love to talk about it but to WHO exactly without being judged or misunderstood. There was a time in my life when I was genuinely happy and unbothered with happenings around me or what people will think or say. How did I even let myself go, how did I get to this stage of getting so deep in people that I end up being terribly hurt? Finding myself back on track has been a tug of war. Of what benefits am I to people really? It feels like I just struggle to stay relevant and no matter the effort I put, it will never be acknowledged. What happens if I die? No one will be moved really, so why not!! If this doesn’t end me (deep sigh), I will end up in my own cave to never return.