Sadly i think i am tired of everything . Most of the time , i try to cheer myself up . I will be ungrateful to say i hate the way i live , everything I do has a lie in it . I was sexually abused by our driver from when i was about 4 or 5 years . It lasted for a while then another of a family friend continued till i was about 10 years . I sometimes want to have sex with a man , i am a dude but i don’t love men . I am falling hard for a girl now but she seems not to share the same feelings . My parents have always hated each other from when i was a child and it’s hard to tell them i have mutiple times contemplated suicide because I’m tired . It’s hard to move on . I have tried to help myself alone . I am going to turn 18 this year and sadly i don’t see any change . I honestly don’t think I can make it before my birthday because it’s soo hard to be alive right now

One comment

  1. Hey there. I’m so sorry to hear about your experiences, that’s something no one should go through. It’s terrible. Thanks for opening up like this, you deserve the best. I want to let you know that people value you, turning 18 can mean a huge turning point. Let it be the start of a new fresh journey, a journey for the better – the past is over. From now, it will only get better. Focus on yourself, build yourself, spend time on something you love, continue creating something (like your blog), you are doing great, focus on personal growth and value.

    I suggest looking into Stoicism (pragmatic philosophy that helps you with your day to day life) and practicing Guided Mindfulness Meditation. These can help you alleviate yourself a ton. You can check them out on the Internet, or check out the posts about these subjects in my blog that I have researched.

    You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them. The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts – Marcus Aurelius

    Most importantly, take care of yourself.
    All the best,


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