Toke

Hey. I’m so lonely. I am young and i keep asking myself why i am this lonely. A woman in her twenties should be out there enjoying her youth and living her best life but it seems I’m stuck here all by myself. I have a good education, getting some money to get by but still it doesn’t remove the loneliness. No amout of buying stuffs or going to the spa can take it away. When we were younger the world told us that getting an education and having money makes it all go away but it doesn’t. I am dating someone but i feel like i am all by myself. We live in the same city but i haven’t seen or spoken to him on the phone for almost two months. When i complain about it, he somehow blames me for it. I know deep down that my feelings are valid but there’s nothing i can really do. Pathetic right. We only text and that is not even constant. I am hurt, angry and there’s no one i can talk to about it. No one. Everyone thinks its okay in paradise but it’s not. I just want love. I am beautiful and smart, everyone says that but why does love seem out of reach. I want a man i will wake up next to, someone to smile with me, we’ll cook together, feed ourselves, go on walks, laugh at out stupid jokes and love each other deeply. Why is that so hard to find. It seems everyone in this city is a liar and a cheat and love is out of reach. These days i pray for the run by quickly, for the night to come because that deep sleep is the only place this monster called loneliness doesn’t plague me.

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