The killing Joke

Hello, this write up is for those depressed and suicidal souls out there. I hope it gets posted

Couple of years back I was in SS2 (boarding school) and we just finished our 2nd term exam so I returned home to find out my dad drank sniper and wrote a letter . Well he was receiving treatment by the time I got home. I was much of kid then and that scenario confused me a lot, couldn’t stop wondering why my dad would want to leave behind a wife and 4 kids like things weren’t depressing enough already. Okay so for the records this man didn’t render any kind of financial or parental support to us, he was so irresponsible and insensitive and none of us could really figure out why. My mom would often nag and fight him over this issues which sometimes resulted to domestic violence. Mans was always fucking depressed and it took a toll on the entire household. In 2014 he came home late as usual one day and was acting funny like he was going mad, at first we thought he was drunk as usual so we expected the cruise to wear off by morning but by morning he was puking blood and rolling round the bed in pain so we rushed him to the hospital, my dad died the next day. His family didnt show up for the burial, it was obvious his family was pretty dysfunctional as well so we buried the man low key by ourselves. I’m 22years old now, I’m not academically bright, struggling to get a degree with no basic skill, i dont know how to manage my emotions so i just bottle them up which has affected my relationship with alot of people, people often say I’m insensitive and an asshole and I barely apologize for anything, i’m generally not a happy person but I’m not a sad person either. I’m still figuring myself out so there’s no need for help or pity from anyone. 

Its okay to be essentric, Its okay to make terrible life choices, its okay to make mistakes, its okay to not be religious, people dont have to understand you and thats okay. SUICIDE IS NOT THE WAY, YOU’RE ONLY PASSING THE PAIN UNTO ANOTHER AND THAT PAIN DOES MORE HARM THAN YOU THINK So grow some fucking balls and face reality.

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