Okay, finally feels good to share this with someone. I’m 18 years old, I want to be become an artiste because it’s the only this I have passion for and knows how to do. When I was still in secondary school, the university I loved and would love to go was Unilorin but had to change it to Unilag because of the career I wanted to pursue . I live in Osogbo so I thought schooling in Lagos would help my career as I would have known the studios and people that might help me with my career before I graduate. I’m the type that puts God first in everything I do so after making that decision to go to Unilag, I prayed to God to let me get admitted as this would make me think he’s with me on the path I chose. Did post utme, didn’t pass quite much but my dad knows two lecturers that promised to help to cut it short . I didn’t get the admission. I was so broken but I’m the type that do not take things to heart and doesn’t let anything shake my heart or make me depressed so I tried to cover up the pain and smile like nothing is wrong. Thought the school was impossible based on what I heard that they don’t really give admission but I’m always reminded of the pain after I discovered that two of my friends that doesn’t even know anyone there got admitted. I didn’t wanna choose the school twice so I decided to just choose Unilorin, my parents abused me that if I had chosen Unilorin last year, I would have been in school by now cause my dad helped a boy that didn’t even pass their post utme get into the school without any stress because he knows lectures there . Hearing this, I felt relieved and so sure I’m getting admission this year. I did jamb and post utme and I passed, first list came out, second and third still my name wasn’t there, I was so desperate about getting admission this year like my life depends on it reason because: 1. Out of all of us that graduated in 2018, I’m the only one left to get admission 2. People that we went to obtain jamb form and did lesson together last year that I was even the chair lady of prayer that we all won’t have any reason to write jamb again this year had all gotten admission except me 3. I’m usually the only one at home and depression and anxiety atttacks has been taking it tolls on me thinking stupid things that are way beyond my thinking capacity like what’s the special feeling that makes one excited about food when thinking this . I think it in ways that are way so beyond me and it’ll be like I’m about to run mad and it’ll be telling me to just end my life so I’ll get done it . I’m sure if I was in school with people gisting and stuff . I’m sure these thoughts won’t be coming. I prayed even went to mountain, fasted and cried my eyes out to God to let me get this admission . I’ve never wanted something that bad in my life. I have never had a boyfriend though I dreamt of having it in school so I literally have no one like I’m so lonely, my former friends all ditched me since they are all in school and with new friends so who am I to them. I don’t even post on WhatsApp because all they do is ask about my admission status and it’s so embarrrasing telling them not yet all the time. I feel so little to all my friends like they’re my superior because of admission most that I’m even older than. Staying home too mum is in serious debt so debtors coming here and there to embarrass her and it kills me so much like I just need somewhere to escape to that’s also why this admission means a lot to me. I can’t imagine seating to write another jamb with my 2 years juniors in school and I’m 3 years older than most of them and they are so disrespectful I literally dislike them so seating to write another jamb with will literally make me wanna faint. Praying about my moms situation and my own admission and the prayers doesn’t seem answered makes me ask God if there’s anything like special sin maybe that’s what I’ve committed. So my admission chance according to the lecturers is a 50/50 chance now so I don’t even know what to do if I don’t end up getting it. I’ve never felt broken like this in my life and I don’t want to commit sucide specially cause of my mum I don’t wanna break her. I’m strong but I’m tired.
in Confession
Connotare 
It’s not about getting admission, it is about getting a good job after graduation. God’s plan for your life supersede human thinking. Just believe and wait for God’s time and you will know God loves you.
Life is a marathon not a sprint race,I really understand what you are going through because right now I am in the same space as your are. I would advice you to just breathe,take everyday as it comes, work hard and pray. Life would soon get better.
P.s:- Don’t compare yourself to your other friends,God has a plan for everyone.
I think the mistake here is, you’re comparing yourself to other… The only person you should be in competition with, is yourself.
The question is, what are you doing to improve yourself while you’re waiting? I’ll suggest your learn a hand work, and make money for yourself. But don’t neglect or be carried away.
Look poster, I’m talking from experience. Left school 2009 and didn’t get admitted into university. Some I passed on merit, and some I don’t. Long story short, among my pairs that left sec sch 2009 I’m still ahead when talk about achievements 😄
You can push your music career a little. Prolly you write down lyrics, record the sound with your phone and save it in your cloud (anything can happen to your phone but your file will be save on cloud)
Let me stop here… I’m Dave d_scott22019 my snap
Good night… Sending you a hug 🤗
Just seeing this, I hope you are better now. 70% of Nigerians passed through this, You will be fine. My gmail is jamiejordan143, I’m in Osogbo ATM, let me know if you need to Talk to someone.
I’m just seeing this, literally a year later. Are you OK? Are you in school now, and if you are do you feel better now. I relate so much to this because it also happened to me last year. I guess I wasn’t actually alone in all this as I felt I was then. And that’s the thing, you are never alone because God loves you. Have a good life, dear.
Hello anonymous, I dunno how I stumbled on my old post on here, was reading the comments to make me feel better again and saw yours
Still not in school.. it’s even more complicated now. The repetition of that year is like starting to happen again. Life sucks. Lol
Dunno if ya gonna see this but I just wanna reply this especially
Hello dear
The summary of last year Comments: you’re not in competition with anybody 🥰.
I will advice you to talk to your parents about doing something to keep yourself busy while you wait for admission, more like working in a field related to your course of study in the university.
Staying at home all day will only trigger the depression of not being in school, Keeping praying, preparing for any opportunity and start living your life now don’t wait for admission before living a fulfilled life.
Sending you love and hope dear❣️
God bless you for speaking out, God bless you. I’ll love you to ask yourself some questions.
Am I doing the right thing?
Right from my childhood days I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer. In fact people call me lawyer without telling them and went as far as calling my mum “Iya Lawyer” . I love reading, writing, acting, dancing… And lot more, everything related to Art . I changed when I got to SS1, I chose science, because I wanted to become a Doctor. I plan on building hospitals in local areas and give free medical treatment to people who can’t afford. My mission is to reduce the risk at which people die due to lack of money to visit a good medical centre. When I got to SS3, things became soo hard that I couldn’t write WAEC with my mates, that was in 2015. I was opportuned to write GCE I’m 2017, but my center was failed. I wrote WAEC in 2018 same thing happened, everybody’s results was not released. I was supper frustrated. After several prayers, one night, an Angel of God appeared to me in my dream and asked me the same question I want you to ask yourself.
* What are the things you love doing with ease? In other words, things you do without stress.
This helped me to retrace my steps. I switched to art and had to start again from SS1. I started SS1 in 2018 at the age of 18 and finished secondary school, the second time at the age of 21. It was not easy, being classmates with people I’m 5 years older than. I wrote WAEC, in 2021, with excellent result of 7 distinctions out of the 9 subjects I offered. I gained admission that same year into LASU.
If I’d written my WAEC, passed and not gain admission then, as a science students, in 2015. It will be very hard for me to go back
Ask yourself the above questions and retrace your steps. I pray the Lord will help you. Love from Lizzy
From my view
There is no enjoyment in school, you will get more depressed there especially when lecturers start asking for sex to give marks and money to get text books . All this things put together fit kill personal 😑💔
Stay strong and get a hobby
There are trials set in the world to test you, sometimes their are elements of your world that are surprisingly riven by external voices! The key is to know who you are! to be confident in what you want to achieve if it was me i would nt look at the 50% i would work to be 1% of achievers! I completed my english degree while professionally raising three children all under of 5, i have achieved all my goals in house! Some times what you dream of completing is their in the format of being a good frien or a mother and when your position seems negative!
Remember to notice how good things are you have to have lost a few battles! Set out everyday to make an effort towards your foundation goal! If you feel overwhelmed focus om filling your mind with the knowledge you need, over study and take courses that will give you confidence!
Your belief in god shows you have n understanding for respecting the powers we cannot see focus on teaching yourself how to manage your body and train yourself to be over prepared! When you fel you are not quite the same, remember some people are meant to break the mould differently!
To outside i just spent forty years in scholarship! the reality is i raised the leves through parliament! Have full judiciary in all levels including family court! Completed a house and garden to fit in 8 wonderful people and raised them to the highest evels by teaching in the summer holidays instead of through school time! Was key pin to their social and emotional development, from timid creatures i now have the most solid of wards!
My levels mean whne seen as a housewife externally, the reality is i run my world from the seat of y house! Masterring yourself and striving towards one goal at a time is key to achieving, what learning will get you on that first step can be devised by you or generated by what is missing in your home and life! Something you can take over if your home is lacking ceratin elements!
new keyboard has kinks use this for spell check! lol know when to laugh and start again!