Everytime I open up, I get “you’re not the only one going through things” so I don’t. Everything I’ve gone through my whole life I’ve had to fix and recover on my own. This year I finally decided to tell people when I need help and all I get is rejection. I’m fucking struggling to stay alive, why the fuck are you competing with me. Why do you think I’m undeserving of help just because I always figure it out myself. I’m just tired. I can’t keep spending my whole life pulling myself out of one thing or another. The one person I confide in all the time finally spoke their mind and said I’m always going through something. Now there’s no one to share to. I’m just going to drink and smoke my life away.