On this day, nine years ago, My soul died for the second time. The first was a family member 14 years ago. I became a target for abusers. Friends, family, teachers. I’ve forgotten what it means to be sane. I don’t know how to love. My fingers are scar filled as piercing them momentarily calms me down. I really want to love my family, love my man. I want to sleep without pills. How can I, when my emotions died years ago?