Sometimes I feel like sleeping and that’d just be the end, because I’m so tired of life itself, a doc warned me not to ever fall in love deeply cos of my family history after my sister had a bipolar affected disorder breakdown. Yeah I met a guy I thought was into me and I didn’t realize how deeply I had fallen until the gaslighting started and I started begging for attention. After a very difficult time, going to the hospital because I couldn’t handle what was happening and I couldn’t tell anyone how I was really feeling, fast forward to almost a year later I’m feeling helpless.can’t concentrate and have panic attacks…I’m steadily scared of something going wrong but I am too scared of pains to end it myself so I’m just praying it happens naturally. I can’t even go for therapy because it’s damn expensive.