I love and hate my father at the same time.
This is more than the Stockholm syndrome.
My father has been my greatest motivation and worst abuser. The emotions I feel whenever I think about him progresses from mild to extreme real fast. I want to stay far from him and yet close to him. Sometimes I wish he was dead and I feel guilt for thinking so but still feels right. Life is difficult because I feel less for having these kind of thoughts. The broken are never the same.