Side chick wahala

I dated this guy three years ago and we broke up over a flimsy reason. He tried coming back but I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Now, he has a girlfriend who he loves and I’m also in love with him. He is a good person to me and he has so far treated me better than any of my exes. I’m hurt that I’m sharing him with someone, I don’t want to. I also feel bad for his girlfriend who I feel loves him too. Tried ending things again yesterday but one look at him and I’m back to him again. I used to be someone who loved with her head and now, my emotions are fucking me up.
PS. He is my first love or the first guy I have strong feelings for.
Maybe it’s because he is the second guy I have had sex with. The first was rape.

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