Someone please tell me to stay strong. I got back to my girl because she would have been suicidal without me but on the short run, her mom died. She is hurt and so am I, I felt the loss too.
I am in a difficult spot now because I truly love else and I don’t know how to leave my girl because of her late mom.

I planned to stay with her for a year or so then when I am sure she is okay or at least can bear the mom’s loss, then I have to let her go. I don’t take advantage of her but I can’t think straight anymore nor can I hold myself from the fact that I love someone else . I don’t know if I can stay with my girl for even another month. My feelings can’t let me pretend and I am not good at lying to her or anybody. This other girl I love makes me feel so alive like I want to even chase my dreams better with a mere thought of her . I even lost how to like people, I see her in everything I think/pray about her even in church, I see her in people. I wish I am infatuated but I am not because she notice the same effects too. 

I am scared to not just blow it by openly confessing about her to my girl when she hasn’t even recovered from her mom’s loss. I don’t know why her mom died so suddenly and why Love is pushing me like this to cause more pain to her. I hope whatever happens, nobody gets suicidal thoughts.

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