These days I feel empty , I don’t know why. My accomplishment has never made me happy. Although it were the things I wished for, but they never came when I needed them. So when it arrives I feel nothing. No fulfillment. The only time I felt alive was back then when I loved someone for 10 years. Even though it was a stressful ride, I never felt the stress. Never been more alive back then. There was joy in loving than being the beloved. She was smarter and intelligent than me. Not my fault I was sapiosexual. Just a phone call from her and I would be so alive for more than 6 months. She was like my cocaine. But it came to a time my mind ticked. Being curious and wanted to be her perfect match so I took interest in books. I found knowledge and it made me wild in mind and thoughts. I lost touch of my feelings and that was when I knew she was more vulnerable than I was. I became more ambitious because it was what she wanted. She wanted me to be strong and a goal getter. Now I have all but still I have nothing. Because my light has been put off. If I knew back then this was going to be the aftermath, I would have stayed dumb. I took decisions that made me profits but lost every self satisfaction cause the grand plans was to have them with her. Now marriage and love are a billions years far from me because my eyes are opened to reality. These days she tries to take me back to those days when we had nothing to think about,but just ourselves. But I feel pissed, because it makes me feel stupid. Those were my years of foolishness. I had to let her go because my actions where hurting her daily. Chimps always make the best husbands. When you marry, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don’t hesitate. All the unhappy marriages comes from the husbands having brains. I would be married, but ‘d have no wife, I would be married to a single life.