Stranded Gay child

So I was forcefully outed by an angry ex to my entire family, she came during home cell fellowship and made a scene just to get back at me for moving on. I was outed without given the chance to do it myself in front of strangers that are church people. I play instruments in church and my family is like my life. Mother is like a woman leader in church so you can imagine the stigma she’ll be facing from the closed minded ones in church. Now she says I should go for deliverance again, I’ve gone for one deliverance before but see me still very gay. I told her the last time I went for deliverance nothing changed and I’m still into women. She got mad, I got mad, and she told me not to go home till I’m ready for deliverance. Now I’m in my friends crib squatting while I’m wondering how I’ll fund my school fees that has a deadline of 11th of this month. I’m dependent on my mother so I don’t even know what to do. I’m in my final year, I don’t want to drop out but that deliverance is torture. 3 days no eating , keeping pushing up and down forcefully in the name of casting demons. Last time I passed out and was sent to the hospital. See me thinking I’ll go on a low key till I’m independent enough now I’m here a student in my final year about to drop out , very soon I’ll inconvenient my friend. It’s been 2 days and I keep thinking of ending my life but I can’t put my friend In that position. What do I do

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