I hope I find the strength to not end my life this week as I already wrote my suicide note. Why. I have disappointed all my friends and family who believed in me, debts of over #4M. I’ve hurt everyone that loved me and I never had the discipline to be successful. I am ashamed of myself, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I have shown all the signs possible, my friends are good people who check in but they don’t know I’m already suicidal. It’ll hurt when they find out but they will understand.