It started with a Tinder match. I was instantly drawn to him. We moved our conversations to WhatsApp, where he told me he liked me because we shared the same energy. I thought it was too early for such declarations, but I couldn’t deny that I was already developing feelings for him. From the beginning, there were signs I chose to overlook. He disappeared for days at a time, blamed phone issues for losing our chats, and often left me wondering where I stood in his life. Still, whenever we met in person, he was charming, attentive, and convincing enough to make me believe he genuinely cared. After our first date, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted after careful thought because he seemed different from the men I had met before. I believed I had finally found someone who wanted something real. But the relationship quickly became a cycle of affection and absence. We would spend time together, share intimate moments, and then he would disappear for days without explanation. Whenever I asked questions, there was always an emergency, a personal issue, or something he wasn’t ready to discuss. During the relationship, I developed an infection after we had unprotected sex. Instead of confronting him, I protected him. I blamed myself, sought treatment quietly, and even apologized to him when he complained about my symptoms. Despite medical confirmation that the infection had likely come from him, I never accused him because I loved him and didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. The more I invested emotionally, the more distant he became. Conversations were one-sided, plans were inconsistent, and I often felt like I was fighting for a relationship that only existed when it was convenient for him. Eventually, I discovered clues that suggested his relationship with his child’s mother wasn’t as over as he had claimed. When I confronted him, he initially denied it. Later, he admitted they were back on good terms and that he wasn’t sure what the future held between them. Then came the breakup. According to him, I was controlling, unsupportive, and a red flag. He even blamed me for the infection that I had actually contracted from him. The accusations left me confused because I had spent months understanding, forgiving, protecting, and supporting someone who rarely offered me the same in return. When I finally asked if he still had feelings for both me and his child’s mother, he said yes. When I asked who he would choose if marriage became an option, his answer was simply, “God knows best.”In that moment, everything became clear. I was never his first choice. I was the person who filled the gap while he figured out what he really wanted. The heartbreak wasn’t just losing him. It was realizing how much of myself I had sacrificed to keep someone who was never fully present. I ignored red flags, excused poor treatment, and carried blame that wasn’t mine. The relationship left me with more than emotional scars. It left me with a lesson: love should never require you to abandon your self-respect, silence your concerns, or accept being someone’s backup plan. Sometimes the hardest heartbreak isn’t being left behind. It’s realizing you were never truly chosen in the first place. I went back to him thinking he had changed and had the baby mama situation in control just for him to finally tell me after one month of going back to him again that he finds it difficult to love me