I finally figured out life, I loved her but never told her how much I loved her but I did provide constantly for her. Sadly, I always complained about being broke despite the fact that I had more than enough because I wanted more and was scared of going broke, I forgot I have so much and doing so well but I lived a poverty state mentally which made me unable to work on my relationship because of I save to maintain my high life instead of starting another business. Then, I was going through a lot for more than 6 months and I decided to shut her out instead of to communicate thinking everything would be better when I get better. I just got a reality check in life and I hate that I love the pain because it taught me a lot during my isolation and now I am out of isolation. I will always love you BJC