Today marks 10 years since my ex died, and it’s all because of me, my jealousy killed him. He went to work for a few days, and I got impatient, thinking he was cheating on me due to my past experiences. On December 9, 2014, I called him and threatened to pack my bags and leave his house; I accused him of cheating. He drove from Asaba, where he worked, down to Port Harcourt but had an accident while I was still on the phone. When he picked up, I asked if he was driving to her house. I didn’t believe him when he said he was on his way to Port Harcourt. He crashed his car, and I can still hear the cracks in his faint voice, like he wanted to scream his last words to me: “I Dey come, I nor Dey cheat, Abeg nor leave me.”

10years of Guilt Part 2

After we identified his body, his sisters asked me why he was coming back since he was supposed to work for two weeks in Asaba. I told them we argued, and that’s when his elder sister slapped me, crying and screaming that I’ve killed her brother with my jealousy. His mother just asked me, crying, “My only son, weytin I do you na” I couldn’t say anything; my mom was begging them. We weren’t married yet; we were supposed to get married in 2015, but I married my childhood friend in 2022, who helped me overcome the guilt for a while. We have twin boys together, but every year on December 9th, I cry so much. I still carry the guilt of causing my ex’s death all because of my insecurities. I just don’t know what to do anymore.