Confused lover girl

I started dating this guy 6 months ago, everything was fine, the vibe and energy was top notch, he knows what to say and when to say them, but something happened recently and he ghosted me for two days. I cried, sent epistle before this nigga decided to talk to me again, to be sincere I said something but it doesn’t worth ghosting the love of your life for two days. The problem now is since after the whole ghosting thing we have never been the same again, we barely talk nor see each other again, our conversations don’t last 30mins the whole day. I want to ghost him too and move on, but I’m really hurting inside. PS; I’m dating to marry but this guy has a touch of everything I don’t want in a partner (he does yahoo sometimes, he smokes regularly, he was once a cultist and said he have shot somebody once and use axe on somebody). I still can’t understand why I’m finding it too hard to leave

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