I’m tired of everything. Dealing with suicidal thoughts for a while now and I honestly feel like it’s the best. Only person still keeping me here is my mum, I can’t imagine the pain she’ll be in forever. It doesn’t get better, I feel so unfulfilled, nothing makes me happy. No income, no business, nothing! Nothing is working. It even feels worse now that the year is ending. People see me and think my life is perfect, glamorous and I have everything going on smooth, they confide in me and love me but I’m so miserable, no one to open to. I want to make my own money too, I can’t keep relying on men for money, the disrespect that comes with it is just too much. I’m just tired of life, the whole thing is pointless. I just needed to air out my mind and this is the best way since I don’t even have a therapist or anyone to talk to