My first sex was really painful, it happened in the spur of the moment. Told him to stop but he didn’t, I was really torn. I still loved him, I continued to go over to his place. We were having a moment and I told him he deflowered me, he denied. I said it another day again and he said he believed I’ve been sleeping with other people before him and I shouldn’t say that again. It’s been over a year and I still feel disoriented. I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know if I was ever a virgin. I’m not with him anymore though.