I’ve used my hand to spoil my life

I’ve been dating this guy for 4 years now, did two abortions for him. He told me to delete our chat some weeks ago because of reason that I didn’t understand. Yesterday, I asked him if he doesn’t love me anymore and he said he does but I should stop calling his number. He said he’ll be the one to call me first, I don’t have sense to be honest because I saw these signs

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