I am a lady in her mid thirties With 2 kids
Earlier this year I went through my husband’s phone I found out my husband was expecting a child with someone. apparently the message was that she was 2 months gone already and she was refusing to abort it and that my husband should marry her.
I was shattered, I didn’t confront him because I wanted him to tell me with his mouth, but he didn’t so in my head I felt maybe he was able to convince her to abort the child
Then around march he came home sat me down and started preaching, I just knew something was wrong.
Long story short Oga told me that he got someone pregnant and she has refused to abort it and the girl is 5 months pregnant now they started seeing in November and she’s insisting that he will marry her
And he wants to marry her because he doesn’t want any of his child to be raised outside of wedlock
My heart sank, in my head I was is this how it ends because I don’t see myself doing polygamy even in my next life. I asked him if that’s his decision and if he has discussed with his family
He said his family knew already and asked him to seek permission from me, in my head I was like okay no problem you will see pepper.
I told him no problem since that his decision
He hugged me and was saying thank you thank you lol
E no reach 2 days around 11am on a Saturday morning,Oga carry madam come our house oooo according to her she’s in her late 20s looking like she’s even older than me we started talking and I later went to my son’s room because he needed something
I heard them talking about how she’s going to take the room I used for personal room then my stuffs that were there I will move them to one of my kids room and the rest to his room mind you we are staying in a 4 bedroom duplex( Rental )

Am into real estate and I have been in the business for over 10 years, started a year before I met my husband, by the grace of God I have acquired landed properties and a house in which he told me we shouldn’t stay in. 
That we should use it for rental because it’s far from his work place and I recently renovated it because the last tenants there messed it up and I put it up for sale. 

My heart was full that day I wanted to cry but I can’t cry in front of my kids especially my son he’s so sensitive he will start crying 
Luckily a client called me for inspection 
And I went to show the client the house 
On my way back I locked myself in my car I cried like I have never done before. My head went to different places in a matter of seconds. I was confused, frustrated, I really prayed that if it’s a dream God should please just wake me up.

I was not even hurt like this when my dad told me he couldn’t pay my university acceptance fee because he had issues then 
After crying I slept off in my car, when I woke up I called my mom and his mom and explained to them 
My mom’s first question was hope you’re not planning on staying in that marriage to even think he wants her to stay with us I swear I was so happy my heart became happy again knowing I have my mom’s support I regained confidence immediately, his mom told me she found out through her husband and she will support any decision I make. She won’t tell me to stay or leave, because anything that comes out I will be the one to face it 
She however said think about your children if polygamy is the kind of future you want to give them.

I went back home the madam slept over in my personal room, my husband tried everything to get me to sleep in his room 
I avoided him and went to my son’s room,because I already knew what he wanted to say. I can’t forget the way my boy hugged me that night like he knew what was going on. Kept on asking mummy are you okay? I don’t know What I did to God special but God blessed me with the best kids. 
The next day madam left and even took one of my bag when I noticed I told oga, he asked and Aunty said she was just Borrowing it that she will return it, Oga told me I should stop being sensitive with all these kind of stuff.

Long story short ooo, he went to do the traditional rites before they can plan traditional marriage and wanted me to go with him I told him I couldn’t because of my kids, Oga no know say I don plan am

He left to be back in 3 days, that was enough time for me 
I Packed all my stuffs, packed all my children’s stuffs called my younger brother and he helped me move them to our new apartment (not rental)

Called my lawyer and our divorce papers were ready. I dropped it on the dinning along with his ring and left 

3 days passed Oga came back saw papers called me first and started raining insults on me lol
That am a useless woman what do I stand to gain
That I want to destroy what we built for 9 years
I can’t even remarry at my age
I told him that my 10 years in real estate I have met men that are far richer than he will ever be that when I tell them am married they don’t even believe. Like I literally have to show off my ring all the time And with all these I never opened my legs or succumbed to any of them I know many times I was sex starved and husband will be so busy with work,I would go to my personal room touch myself and am okay I never cheated on this man for once for 9 good years
Am 35 proudly I don’t look my age I look like am in my mid 20s and the girl you destroyed your family for looks like she’s in her late 30s she can’t even speak good English to save her life
My son who is just 8 years speaks better than her( am not insulting anyone)

DIVORCED CONTINUATION

He said his kids I told him I won’t hold you from seeing your kids I am not and will never be that kind of woman, I don’t even need your child support, because am more than able, my younger brother is more more than able even if it hooks me which by God’s grace will never happen my younger brother and elder sister is there for me.

He called his mother and my mom to tell them and both mothers told him that they’re aware of my decision and they stand by me
His mother told him that when he wanted to marry a stranger shea he went to his father why is he suddenly calling her

Then he called back and started pleading, omo no be me Any Adam born of any woman go stress ooo. It’s not worth it biko after all the stress I went through training myself in the university, I will come and face this one again 
Omo never ever 

Men are not worth going through that emotional trauma or even putting my kids in that kind of situation for. Make girl wey never baff well come Dey carry me or my kids for mind because of Man

at this age I was sincerely hoping we will just be raising our kids and be traveling the world enjoying ourselves but look how it ended it’s sad. Because if I was a man I wouldn’t pray to loose a woman like me am not bragging but sincerely all I did was love, Respect and support him where did I go wrong?
The night the madam slept over they had issues with cravings that oga couldn’t provide because it was late. the way she raised her voice on him, I have never spoken to my husband like that before. My heart was broken.
I remember when I was pregnant with my son if I had cravings I would drive myself and go and buy it till I was About 7 months I started calling my younger brother because I knew his job was stressful and 90% of the time he comes home tired 
I am really disappointed in this man I won’t lie. 
But I wish him and his new wife nothing but the best. I heard he didn’t do the traditional marriage again, something he was rushing to do like his life depended on it lol
My mom came from a polygamous family I know what my grandma went through I wouldn’t even wish that on my enemy. Apparently second wives will always see the first one as competition and the person that wants to compete sef is not even close, and na them do juju pass.
my younger sister is just 26 and she’s doing better than this person.

I Remember I told him before we got married that I would only try this marriage stuff once and if it doesn’t work I won’t try it again 
Right now am more focused on these two babies God blessed me with no Adam go stress my life never ever am too young for all those ones 

His mom and my mom has been with me for over 1 month now and sincerely am thankful for these Two women, I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
They didn’t allow me to be alone for i day since the divorce was finalized. What more could I ever wish for knowing I have these Two strong women standing by me. 

I remember last week Saturday he came to pick up the kids and knelt down in front of my compound and was begging, women are fragile and forgiving in nature no reach my side, I was raised by a strong woman, my mother will always say before you make a decision, think front think back, think left and right if you’re ready to bear what comes after that decision then you can go ahead. 

I told him my dear, I forgive you but am never letting you back into my life, am better off alone than to stay with a man that I can’t even trust. my Ex-husband has given me STD before, imagine the one he will give me again with this two women thing. 
My pain is my bag that i didn’t see again. I didn’t even ask again so they won’t say am sensitive.I got that bag as a gift from my younger sister when she came back from Korea, and I haven’t seen that design in Lagos yet.
Am just happy for the kind of family I found myself in. My elder sister and I worked our asses off my sister was in nursing school and I was about entering university when my dad had serious issues. 
My mom called me and my elder sister because we were the eldest the last two were still very small she told us not to give up, she said it’s going to be hard but we will enjoy the reward in future, omo we suffered, My Mom suffered the most. I hawked things. But now am really enjoying it now my elder sister is based in USA with her husband and I am happy I was able to stand my ground because I knew I had the funds, some funds registered in my children’s names that oga don’t even know.
So when I say am not letting nobody stress me, I always mean it because the one I suffered is enough, I won’t go through any shit again especially for a man that can’t keep his zip up.

I have even planned vacation for me and my babies and my mothers which they don’t even know yet that’s the least I can do for them.
once school closes we will go and enjoy ourselves while my Now Ex-husband is preparing to nurse a baby from scratch 

Men will be men 

Thanks for Listening, I feel better letting this off my chest, I have never really discussed how I feel with anyone, I have bottled up a lot.
But I have to for the sake of my kids, I won’t be weak never ever.
My elder sister that I was meant to be gisting all these with is always busy. I really wish I could move but who I go leave my company for, and also I don’t like the idea of working for someone. I love working for myself so my dear we die here.
So thank you guys for listening, my heart feels at ease.