On and Off Swith pls

There was an issue and my boss (female) requested to see me immediately. I had a boner i didn’t ask God for which usually last long so i usually sit till it passes. While I was trying to distract myself by reading a vacation article, my boss and HR manager barged into my office. I wasted time standing up because i wanted to hide the bulge by doing the classic hand in pocket maneuvre which failed and was given 72hrs to respond to query or face disciplinary actions for being ignoring her and insurbodination. How do I explain this to the panel? And why is the HR manager asking me if I’m single and free on friday night?

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