I was introduced to emeka, a final year student in my school by a female acquaintance. We got to talk one day after he approached me in the school cafeteria and he said he was attractedto me. Though he said he was dating the girl that introduced us to each other, even though the girl said they were cousins.
Since the conversation I’ve been wanting to see more of him, he approached me two days after and i was cold towards because I knew I was having feelings for him. For the past few days I’ve been feeling jealous and angry anytime i see them together. My breathing quickens when i see him. I pray God takes this away from me. I don’t like the way I’m feeling at all. God should please help me if this feeling is ungodly and not according to his will
in Confession
Connotare 
So I’m back here. Emeka said they weren’t dating. Not that they were dating. He has this thing where he calls me by her name. And the first time he did it. It felt like a mistake, he apologized. I was still hostile towards him though i let him know i liked him. I would always roll my eyes at whatever he says and he didn’t like it. We spent time together. Had dates, went on walk and ate together. But i felt like i was breaking my rules for him. And it wasn’t supposed to be so. He always had excuses and always wanted me to do something in exchange for meeting him. At first it sounded cool but then it became off. Well, the day i was ready to stop being hostile and allow physical touches. He called me her name and i walked away. How dare he do that! After that day we talked twice or thrice and the last time we did . I told him I liked him. He said he knew, i told him I didn’t like seeing him with other girls. But he said he’s never dated a fair girl, not to talk of another tribe. And he doesn’t want to. That he only wanted people that would come cheer on his graduation day. He wanted us to stop feeling entitled to each other and that we should just go with the flow. I was too stunned to speak, heartbroken too. I told him he was a coward. A big coward. He left me that day to meet his fake cousin. Everytime I see him my heart still beats faster and my breath hitches. I still am very much attracted to him. I still see him with his fake cousin. And everytime it hurts. It’s been almost a month now . He called me one day in the evening and said he only wanted to ask how I was. How dare he!!!!!
I’m so angry and bitter. Why on earth would you approach me and tell me you got your eyes on me before you came to meet me?? How on Earth would you be stalking a girl and letting he know places she’s been if all you wanted was to play her??
Why did you have to do that to me!
I freaking am attracted to you so much it breaks my heart and hurts me so much. I’ve never wanted to shout on somebody as bad as i want to right now. I secretly want you to apologize and be a better person to me. I want you to love me more than I do you. I want things to be better. But things can’t be anymore. I already got someone else who i do not love but is doing everything i wanted from you to me. Emekaa how dare you!!! You broke my heart in a no label relationship. I’ll say it again. I wish the woman you love never love you back. Cause this pain right now in my chest and the tears you bring to my eyes. I hate that i still want you and miss you. I know I’ll forgive you. Even if i don’t forget. You turning me to a heartbreaker.