Narc Survivor

I fell in love with a narcissist. I loved him so much, I still do. He was so perfect at the beginning. He loved everything I loved, he wanted to be with me all the time. For the first time in a while, I felt I had finally found the one for me. He started to talk about us getting married and getting a house of our own. It was so beautiful or so I thought. Then he started to pull away from me and show me the most passive cruelty ever. I sometimes wished he abused me physically instead of the emotional pain. I was hurt. It went on for months, I was gaslighted, ignored, and discarded. One day I found the strength to leave. It’s been 2 months now but I still feel the pain and the crushing loneliness. I always ask myself what I could have done different, could I have loved him more. He told me I never did anything wrong, but I still question myself. Only I know the pain I’m feeling inside because I’m ashamed to tell my loved ones my experience. I’m just here alone with my pain. The healing is not easy. I feel I take a step forward and 100 back. I don’t want to go back but I miss him everyday. Please pray for me to find the strength to win this battle. Im all alone.

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