I’m really not that girl

I don’t know if this is normal but I love my boyfriend so much but still cheat on him with other men because I thrive on the love of men. I don’t know how to explain it but I always want to feel loved by every guy, I just want them to protect me and treat me like a baby. I’ve tried to stop but I keep on going back to my old ways, I just give up and let life deal with me however it dims fit. I’m tired of trying to be a good person because clearly I’m not😮‍💨

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