Suicide thoughts

Em I don’t even know how to start but I have been having suicide thoughts since like age 15, I’m 21 now. I mean no one knows what’s going on through my head, my family is making things worst thinking they see doing everything to protect me. No one knows what I want growing up and I was abused sexually by my sisters friends, uncle, cousins, in fact my secondary school I was abused by house masters. I have been in several relationships but I’m not in love, I just think of the worst when I’m alone ……. Financially I’m down too, I just finished learning stuffs, no money to buy tools and everything. I just feel like the world is against me and I still wake go out everyday with friends and families and I smile 😊 everyone thinks I’m happy and good I’m just getting more broken each day 🙂
I don’t want to hurt myself pls I need help
Just say me prayers to find peace it enough

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