I’m a single mother came out of a toxic relationship last year August ( not with my baby dad , I and my baby dad parted 3 years ago, we are currently co-parenting and my 6 years old son is with him and not me). It wasn’t easy for me because I love this guy so much but he was taking advantage of the fact that I love him, he would call me when he needs sex and I will stupidly go because I thought we could still work out things and he’ll probably change his mind. Fast forward to October, my friends gathered around me and advised me to move on, I agreed and went into another relationship at the end of October and this new guy made me feel like the best thing to ever happen to him, he’d call me every seconds, we’d go out on dates and other nice stuffs people in relationship do honestly I started to forget about my ex that hurt me so bad. Until I started noticing something, whenever I go to my new boyfriend’s apartment, there’s this particular slippers I always see at his entrance, I asked him about it the first time I saw it and he said “my friends are always coming over, some of my guys too mostly come here with their gf’s”
I grew suspicious but I’m not the type of person to just jump into conclusions so I just let it slide, ngl I’ve been sleeping in his apartment back to back (like one day on, one day off) and I never noticed anything except for that slippers until one night I decided to open his wardrobe, guess what? One part of the wardrobe was filled with men’s clothes and the other, female clothes, shoes, wigs, cosmetics and bags. That was when I was convinced that he had another girlfriend.. I was hurt again and I cried for a few then I dried up my tears and went to the the living room where he was sleeping already, I went to his phone ( we were using the same password) and started going through the phone and I would say that this guy is in a serious relationship but something was off, the relationship looked one sided (he loves her much more than she loves him) she won’t come home for days, she’d give him conditions before coming home, she threatens to break up with him and other stuffs that proves she’s not into him anymore… I took her number and saved it on my phone then I confronted him. He cried that day and begged me to give him time to fix things that she cheated on him 3 times and he’s planning to let her go but it’s not an easy thing for him to do because they’ve been cohabiting together for 3 years and she’s been there for him when things were rough and all that. He said his intentions was not to take me seriously from the onset because he wanted to use me for revenge until he started having feelings for me and all those emotional things sha. I believed him and still stayed because he was doing a lot for me and even if God came down from heaven to tell me this guy has a relationship, I won’t even believe because he was sooo into me and I believed that he loves me dearly.
I was in my feelings one day and decided to text the girl (remember I saved her contact) I told her about my relationship with her boyfriend and she seemed carefree about it until I got a call from my boyfriend crying on the phone and telling me why I texted her, that he wanted to do it his way, I saw how hurt he was, he was even threatening to end his life and all until I told him I will fix it which I did, I called her back with tears in my eyes to tell her it was a prank and I was asked to prank her to see her reactions , she believed and we became friends, she saved my number and we started chatting on WhatsApp. I don’t know how she got access to my TikTok, she saw many videos of me in her boyfriend’s clothes on TikTok and liked it. I saw the notification and was sad about it before I could explain, she has blocked me everywhere. I think that was when she decided to leave the relationship. On the 6th of January, I and my boyfriend was together with his friends as usual but this time we lodged in an hotel not to far from his apartment, my female besty came around too so he collected a room for us… I and my friend were together, I didn’t even realise he went home to meet his girlfriend and came back to me until the next morning, he told me he’s going home to bathe and change clothes. He went home with his friend but did not come back for over 4 hours, I got mad and called his line, his friend picked up and told me that my boyfriend ran mad and he’s stripping himself off and that they’re trying to hold him down. I was shocked and confused at the same time, I tried to locate where they were but the phone went off. His friend called after 1hr and told me to come to the house which I did and then I saw my boyfriend, looking all rough, he then ran toward me and hugged me saying “babe I ran mad, my friends told me I ran mad and even showed me a video” I hugged him back and told him that everything will be fine but in my mind I was thinking of how to leave the relationship. I was not even interested in what made him run mad, I just wanted to leave him so he can focus on his main gf. As I was about leaving, his mom and dad entered the apartment (I’ve met with his mom but this is the first time I’m seeing his dad) she thanked me for staying with her son and was cursing his other gf out loud, I was confused about the whole scenario until one of his friends explained to me that my boyfriend’s gf ran away with all her stuffs and ran with some of his gold, money and some house hold items, I went to the room and checked, it was true, all her stuffs weren’t there and he ran mad when he went to her aunts place who told him that she thought they broke up 6 months ago and that the girl is not in Lagos anymore, that was what shocked him and he ran mad.
His mom was raging with anger that she will find the girl and deal with her, his father called me and begged me to stay with him this period so he won’t do anything drastic, his mom too said same thing and I decided to stay for a week until he’s fully strong to stay alone. These times were the worst times of my life, he wakes up at 3am to cry, he will try her number countless times but she changed her line already, he’d cry and tell me to understand that 3 years is not 3 days. We were making love and I opened my mouth to tell him I love him, next thing he did was to cry until his d slipped out of me and that’s all. I’ve been with him since on the 6th of January but I’m not happy, he always says he loves me, he never stopped doing nice things for me and he’s started showing me off, I have access to his bank account and other private stuffs, he’s currently teaching me how to drive and we are going out to vote today which is Election Day but I won’t lie , there are times I feel like a replacement, there are times I want to go home to my apartment, there are times I would go online to see if I can come across her handle so I can beg her to come back to him because I miss when it was it three of us, life was much more easier and at least I could tell that this guy loves me even if he has a more serious relationship but now I can’t tell, he says “I love you” every day and he does so many nice things for me but I feel like a replacement and sometimes I feel she left because of me and I feel so bad because this guy is hurting 😭 I will do anything to bring them back I swear so I can leave the relationship and start a new life, I will be fine I swear, I know how to overcome things like these.


  1. Poster, you also need to think about your self and the long-term implication this would have in your mental health.
    Sounds like you still need to heal from your past relationships. Stop trying to trivalise it normalise this situation because theres nothing normal about it.

  2. It’s nice you want to be there for him and be nice, but what about you? Who’s looking out for your feelings? Or you’re not hurt by all this drama? He needs time to heal and honestly so do you. Prioritize yourself, no one will prioritize you.

  3. Like??? If you really can’t take it anymore, take a break… Give him an excuse and go stay at a friend’s place for a while so he doesn’t locate you and breathe. It almost seems like you’re holding your breath.
    so take some time off like a vacation, rethink the whole situation and come back when decision is made and with an open mind…. Unless there’s something else holding you back… Shaa it’s your call

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