So confused

I met this guy through a friend,we started dating and I love this guy so much, we dated for 2 years. The relationship was just crazy he even cheated on me and I still went back to him because I love this guy so much. At a point I was going through some things and he thought I was seeing another guy so he broke up with me in 2021. I had to beg him to accept me back but he refused, after some months I couldn’t still move on so I texted him last year (2022 ) and we started talking again. I asked if he wants to take me back he said we should keep talking when we get to the stage of dating each other we’ll figure it out, I tried making it up to him but everything was just somehow. Then he came home for Christmas, we met and we had sex too. Because I still love this guy I had to do everything to have him back
He gave me some money two days after seeing each other without asking him for anything and we just talked for like few days,Now he doesn’t reply my text anymore .I’m so ashamed of myself because I feel like the guy paid me off .

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