My Girlfriend

I have been dating my girl for 4years now. I met her when she was just in her year1 and she is about to Graduate now and I have been supporting her since I met her even more than her parents because her family is not that well to do. She is about 22 and I am about 25. I love her so much and I really want to settle down with her. Since we have been together I have changed like 3 cars and I am currently living in my own house and I am building my second house. God have really been blessing me. I believe so much in her and is one reason why I am so investing in her. Sometimes we discuss about marriage I tell her how I would love to have only 2 kids so we can take good care of them and give them the type of life we never had and that I am not a big fan of large weddings. I prefer to do a small wedding and use the remaining money to travel with her on a vacation as we have never been to any other country besides being in Nigeria or I use that money to buy her a car as I already drive a very nice car a Mercedes Benz. Recently we had one of those discussion we were talking about weddings then I told her a #10million wedding is not necessary she come laugh say who still dey do wedding of #10million, I shock. She wants a cake that is as huge as a house and cost roughly 2-3million only. Even if I have the money is spending about #15million on a wedding for one day is it not stupidity? Omo Shey I no go run away like this??? She said it’s her dream wedding.

P.S:- She’s not working or making any money I understand that she is still in school I am her only source of income. What should I do is this a red flag??

9 comments

  1. A 22 year old with no job who thinks 10m is too small for a wedding is joking,I expected a business suggestion after her graduation rather it seems she wants to just live the baby girl life without thinking.you need to examine and test her well before deciding forever with her so you don’t end up marrying someone who would finish your money with 1 year of marriage.

  2. It’s a big red flag my brother. Sit her down and try to explain to her how yo don’t think it’s a good idea and you can’t do more than you’re capable of. If she insists just start to distance yourself. Let her know the ball is in her court. She should make up her mind. You shouldn’t let her ruin you.

  3. She’s still growing I believe. When she meets the real world her mindset will change. I no blame her😂 na papaya and bob cause this rubbish. Keep talking to her sha, she might change that mindset

  4. Please sit her down,show her how other big women in nigeria started business and it boomed and they became celebrity business women…I guess she will accept dt..then after she makes millions also,then u both can do the wedding of 50m sef bcos you wnt feel you touch ur money at all after taking such huge amount sef

  5. The girl is very immature and not yet ready to settle
    Bro,first things first.Don’t attribute your houses and cars to the fact that you have been with her,or she’s been with you.whatever,as long as she didn’t contribute a penny to it .she’s not the reason for your success.don’t make that mistake!

    Bro,now that she’s almost out of school,this is the time to delay that wedding,and vet her personality well!!!.
    Let me help you analyze for free.she has never worked,always had it easy due to your support.but now she’s serious about a cake of about 2-3million even though she knows that you DONT like that idea.

    Let me tell you the meaning for free too,this means that she doesn’t know the importance of money,neither does she respect or understand how hard you worked for that money she wants to waste on a cake.it also means that her decision making skill on little things is poor,because she wants cake that she can’t even finish a quarter alone ,over a vacation.lastly,and very importantly, since she doesn’t respect money it means she’s entitled.so imagine what her real character will look like if there’s no money,house or car!

    See ehn,you don’t need to make her understand or even persuade her to buying your idea of a small wedding.all your answers are right in front of you,if you are truly intentional about getting married.

    Is this the person you want to marry?,is this the mother you want for your kids?.
    Trust me,you don’t want all your years of hard work to go down the drain because you married wrongly. Because if you lose it all now,this woman that’s adamant on having a massive cake ,will leave you!

    Use your head ,and be wise!

  6. This is a massive red flag. You see in marriage there will be trying times. No one prays for it but, it does happen. When that time comes when there’s less money to spend you’ll see her true colors.
    You are insinuating that she is the reason for your good fortune. That’s wrong God is the giver of wealth. So, don’t think you must marry her and set yourself up for failure and heartache that can be avoided.

  7. Papaya influence try to lecture her about all this yeye ig lifestyle na where all those ones de start and also her friends try to know the kind of friends she keep

  8. My brother, you’re kind of. It’s only a matter of time, she will leave you. At 22, she doesn’t know what she wants. She’s in her exploratory phase. The moment she finds her feet, you will stop being “her kind of man” and become “God-sent”. Whatever her parents can’t provide for her, what makes you think that providing it for her secures her for you?

    In my own case, after changing her university twice, (excluding other expensive expenses I wouldn’t want to mention), she told me “I was the brother she never had”.

  9. On its own, its not a red flag. Every successful relationship has issues like these that both partners need to find a way to agree on. It might be that the cake is of most importance to her so you may have to increase your budget to accommodate ONLY the cake OR you agree to cut costs somewhere else eg fewer guests, more cost friendly location, etc. Make sure you also think about what is important to you for the day and decide together. I believe this is a serious issue but not a red flag, just a hurdle most people who plan to get married face. How you both deal with it will inform how you deal with future challenges together

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