Today I felt like the main character in a tv show. Was in the market but my entire mind and soul was somewhere else thinking of how the world is draining me and how much further I could keep going. Then all of a sudden I was completely pushed down by a dead cow hanging on the neck of the butcher, my whole body was stained with blood and mud that I was totally confused on what to say or do. I stood up dust my clothes and walked back home in shame, and the moment I got home I burst into tears cause I felt like I was an unfortunate soul. Imagine having to separate from the absolute love of your life cause he thinks you’re toxic and he can’t find peace in you whereas I battle for my life every single day. I grew up being the villain in everyone’s story, no one ever understands me and they always blame me and make me look like the bad person. I’ve tried my best to make everyone happy and I’ve never put myself first. I always cry to God cause I just don’t get how unfortunate I am.

3 comments

  1. Stay strong i was in your shoes before, just keep praying to God he will answer you.

  2. Sweetheart you’re not unfortunate
    Don’t talk down on yourself …. You’re loved by God and that hasn’t changed
    I pray you encounter bigger blessings come your way
    Sending you virtual hugs and love ♥️♥️♥️

  3. This time last year , I have said this but because I have been in your shoes and worse. Like “worser”, so hear me poster.
    Write on your phone note and reminder , set it every 2 hours till you are out of this .
    “I am highly preferred and sort after”
    “My smell is like the field whom God has blessed”
    “Good things come to me”
    “Dark clouds hovering around me become light”
    “Dark veils over my face is torn to shreds”
    You might not be strong enough to pray like others have advised, but speaking the word back to your being is also prayers .
    It will take time o, you will even cry hot tears for a while but God is good and kind.
    His kindness will find you and you will understand that if he hasn’t deposited great things in you, attacks won’t come because there’s nothing in you for them .
    Gradually create time for prayers, start simple, start by talking to God even if it’s 30 seconds. You will grow on him.

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