In a toxic life

I met this guy some time last year February or March we started talking and going out, when we met that period he was still going through his heartbreak of this ex-girlfriend, I understood ok. We started getting closer, I noticed he was a very loving person, caring, gives a 100 percent loyalty, he’s worth fighting for, we fell in love with each, couldn’t stay without talking to him, we were making out doing stuff together but never asked me out till the half of the year (August) but the only issue I had been with him was money he didn’t have money. I was wondering how I’d cope because then I wasn’t into any business yet as time went by I was forced into cheating on him for money, kept cheating to just get money for myself most times till use the money for us. It got to a point he noticed I was sleeping around so he decided to clone my phone saw all the shit I did, we had several issues always, after knowing all I did he still decided to stay and love me and forgave me, still I kept on cheating on him till November to December. I think I stopped because I felt really bad for my boyfriend everyday fights, quarrels, no peace, even after he deleted my WhatsApp from his phone he still tries to go to my phone whenever I’m charging it or am sleeping. Till this year January God blessed us with a little cash out, I stopped my deals, wasn’t sleeping around anymore. I started been loyal , respectful , obedient to him because even after everything that has happened he never left me or now that there’s cash he has left and didn’t cheat on me back. We kept living happily though there’s money but I wasn’t given enough. The money he gives me feels little and my business wasn’t moving well for some time not until last 2 weeks or 1week I cheated on him for money and he found out yesterday. He got angry at me and crazy to hit me, he slapped me 3 times pushed me on the floor man. It wasn’t a good day yesterday for me, now my face is all swollen and my eyes too. I still love him and he loves me too, I don’t blame him for hitting me in a way I deserve it because I wasn’t loyal enough, I feel like breaking up and don’t feel like breaking up. I love him so much no man has ever showed me the love and care he has given me, leaving him makes me scared.

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