Its been long no

It’s been long .
It’s hard since November have been thinking quite a lot about him. Before it was just once but recently I really think of how he is , how things are going with and how he’s living.
Since my mom blocked him on call he hasn’t reach us I guess he doesn’t care
But I don’t really understand how someone that doesn’t care keeps appearing on dreams trying to do the stuffs that we just to do but I keep stoping him. The last time that I dreamt about him I could feel the heat between our bodies when I woke up I was wet .
I love him with all my heart but the pain that he has cursed on my it’s so big that I don’t want to even hear his name. I don’t know if to think that what we had was nothing , what we had for the entire 3,5 years was totally nothing.
I want to be loved but am afraid of loving and committing the same mistake

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