I hate myself

I was very young maybe 6-7 years old when my cousins started touching me weirdly, at some attempts they tried sleeping with me even the girls. The first time I told my mum about it all hell broke lose and didn’t like the reaction then so I could not tell her after then. I later got exposed to internet early and started watching porn 😫. I am all grown up now, had my first sex this year but I don’t have any sexual feelings for guys. I would just develop hate for guy when we start talking about sex no matter how I like them initially 😫😫.

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