I went on a date and had to sleep over, totally unplanned. I usually go out with my condom, but this time I didn’t. Oh well, sex happened, got on top and somehow the condom (his) fell off and disappeared into my vagina. We spent the rest of the night searching for it, I had to spread my legs like a woman in labor. Thankfully, it was found. I already thought of the million ways it could kill me. This is my sign to take celibacy more seriously!

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