At this point, I don’t know how/ what I’m feeling. I’ve been depressed, nightmares from past rapes. I don’t pop pills to sleep anymore or smoke to forget. I’m drowning in it. Every day I wake up and try to put a smile on everyone’s face but I’m drowning, no friends, jobless, no funds to set up myself, no boyfriend, my self esteem is so low, confidence is zero but I show up with a big smile.