Miss

Ummm, I have tears rolling down my eyes as I type this.
I’ve not had it easy but I’m grateful for all the perfect days and moments in-between.
I’m 25 years old, not yet in school. Been working for 7 years (lol, a shame)

Right now I feel stuck. 
I have a business plan, I want to go to school, I need to change my job, I don’t want to feel stuck. I’m tired. 
Never really experienced a relationship where there were no second guessing what my partner might be doing. I want love, genuine love even though I’m not searching right now. 

I don’t know why I’m sharing this but I have this hard lump in my throat that I need to get off and let out all the pain I feel. 

I’m sometimes tired of praying but that’s the least I can do, and also work towards everything. The Bible says ‘faith without works is dead’, so, I’m doing just that. Working my faith. 

But, I’m tired. I just want things to get better.

One comment

  1. This’ to the 25 year old.
    I usually don’t comment here …
    Felt the need to, your short story is relatable.
    You seem to want a lot of things darling, you seem to have faith also. It’s okay to want alnot in one go, it’s okay to feel stuck, it’s okay to not have things work out the way we would have wanted them to… Trust me it is. I too have struggled with getting into school. I waited, tried, waited, cried, hated my parents, got depressed for wanting to be educated, fell critically ill… Now I’m almost done with medical school as it has been one of my greatest achievements admist others I aspire to grab. What kept me pressed on was Faith. Sounds cliché, but is true. I believed I will get in. And I did. Sometimes we tend to lay attention to the irrelevant and that has us wasting much of our time, I learnt that the hard way. You are not what situations make you believe you are darling, you are what you’re meant to be, and right now it may not feel as though you’re but you are Manifesting. I’ve been through what you may. At least you’re working, my family didn’t want me to work, my father forbid that I work at the time, he felt it was a downfall to him. As he wanted me to trust and believe I’d get into school. All I felt was hate hate hate. Keep your head up! You have your life!! You have everything you can ever ask for, the Life God has given you. What you feel is humane, what you feel right now is okay, it’s normal, it’s a phase. Plan, take good advantage of opportunities, Plan!. Stay ahead, pray, talk to God differently this time, I do.
    Love is best felt in God, and He tends to make us love more. And that make people who don’t understand it feel repellant to give back what we give them, and that ends us feeling hurt, rejected, and unworthy of what we give. That’s okay. It’s hard to accept all that is feels like, but the truth is no one deserves you more than you right now. That’s all you need. You and Faith. Everyother thing will follow. Keep your head up!

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