Confused

I have this guy I’ve been dating since last year may, he had to go to back to school January and since then we haven’t seen each other. These past months we’ve not been together made our relationship really toxic, we’ve been fighting, breaking up and coming back together. There is this other guy I met before I met my boyfriend, we were quite close but we didn’t see each other until last week. The guy wasn’t what I was expecting, he is big and really fine, so things happened, we had sex. I don’t regret having sex with him because I like him but I feel guilty for cheating on my boyfriend. I tried breaking up with my boyfriend, because we are really toxic and I am tired of the relationship, though I still like him and I don’t want to hurt him. The thing now is I don’t want to lose him or the other guy
I know I have to choose, I really really don’t know who to choose.

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