I feel so hollowed out by everything that has happened. Sometimes I think about dying. I think about it a lot, actually. I’m so glad my dog is by my side, without her I probably would have done it long ago. I dare not even put this in my journal. I tried to reach out to a friend, who wanted to talk, but when that time came I was too depressed to even do that. I hope things get better, I just don’t feel confident that they will. I know its in my power. But at this point, why bother? What is left? What is there to look forward to in life?