Heavy Heart

I still miss my ex-girlfriend who cheated on me but for some reasons we can’t get back together. She kept trying to fix things for over a year after i broke up with her but i felt too hurt and broken to try again. I know this sounds weird & stupid but my heart gets really heavy and uneasy when I think about her and the memories we shared.

Heavy Heart 2

I guess it’s safe to say that I still Love her, she cheated multiple times over the years while we dated, i’m also flawed but I’ve never had beyond 1 sexual partner while in a committed relationship (she was my first and only partner). What’s even worse is i didn’t catch her cheating, she opened up about being with other guys by herself and when I asked who they were she called names I was familiar with 💔.

Heavy Heart 3

She came out clean about cheating on different occasions over the years we were together, I loved her even more for being so honest but resented her for being too available or easy for the other guys. It hurts because i can’t help but wonder; How could i have been so careless and ignorant to notice I was being cheated on? How could i have been so naive? Was i so terrible at being a boyfriend/lover that my ex had to do me so dirty? It’s extremely difficult to cope with the thought and feeling that comes with all these.

Heavy Heart 4

I know some women love to have multiple sexual partners as much as most men do and that’s okay but if I knew she wanted it that way then I wouldn’t have dedicated too much of myself to her. AND YES we had great sexual chemistry & our sex life wasn’t boring so what was her problem exactly? Was she lying to make me feel good? I guess I’d never know, however my Ego is bruised, my heart is broken and I’m still mourning a relationship I should’ve moved on from a long time ago. I don’t even know where to start with someone else

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