I have always wanted to talk to someone but I am so lonely, I lost my sister and best friend few months ago,she has been the only person that knows how I feel and has the right word to calm the storm. I feel I have failed in life at my age, I am in my mid 30’s I have nothing to show for. I have two beautiful sons but not married, i thought I could get happiness in my present relationship but the reverse is the case. My mom has never been on my side for anything and she is really pushing me to depression. My current state is that bad that all I think of is taking my own life maybe I can find solace in death, the only thing stopping me are my sons. Who will take care of them when I am gone, I can barely take care of them now let alone when I’m gone. I long for little happiness, I want to be loved but it seems that can never happen because every day I wake up the fear of how will I manage the day envelopes me. I guess going to join my sister will be better because I feel it’s peaceful. Maybe I’ll take my boys with me, that way I know they won’t suffer when I am gone or maybe I need help but where will that help come from. NO WHERE.