Lol, What was I thinking? How can I keep up with this guy? Don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet. I need to work on my self esteem and confidence. I need to outgrow my insecurities (and maybe loose weight too). My insecurities are telling me that he’s too much for me😪
I don’t want my insecurities to mess things up between us. I’m in love with him but I have to end things with him. I need to heal and work on myself. Although he’s proven to me that he loves me, a lot of times. I’m scared of the worst to happen.
I’ve never dated anyone like him. I keep hearing people asking him what he saw in me. My friends are surprised he chose me. I’m a size 14 with a lot of stretch marks, that I feel ashamed of. I hardly take full pictures because I hate seeing myself. I avoid mirrors.
Since we started dating, I avoid visiting him. I don’t want him to see the severe keloids scars and burns I have on my body due to a fire incident that occurred some years back. I know he has an idea of what my scars looks like but I’m not sure he knows to what extent.
I told him I have lots of scars on my body, already. He has seen the ones on my hands and legs. He really wants to see them all but I’m nervous. If it was just him I’m okay with it but the people are making it hard for me to enjoy a relationship with him. His friends make comments that suggest, he could do better. My friends make me feel worse. I’m tired of him always trying to defend his choice (me) to his friends and to people. I just want to accepted and not begged to be accepted. For this reason I stay away from romantic relationships. Lol, I know I sound like insecure loser but I’m typing how I feel. I feel better expressing myself anonymously, to everyone and to no one. Goodnight