Self retrospection brings a lot of things into focus, it makes it difficult to hide. I feel like I’m really broken, not on the surface but within and only i know where the cracks are. The journey has been a fitful one of mending the cracks one after the other. Some are hastily that a new storm could easily turn asunder. I feel like I’m always going to be plagued with this feeling of looking for love and assurance, validation and a nod like i got you. I wish i had someone telling me that i got you. There are so many things i wish for but i don’t know if i deserve them ; a friendship that’s like a calm in a storm, a love that’s like cold water on a hot sunny day, a dream like a blanket when the chills get outta hand, something forever , a self love that despite all my flaws it wells from within , assurance that i am enough, overcome this feeling of worthlessness and inadequacy , what ifs and what nots, let go of the memories that feels like a vice around my neck drowning me even as i struggle for breath and mayhap the light within will shine and it could in turn light another dark soul.

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