I’m a girl, I don’t have many friends, the ones I have, I’m not really close to them. I’m a girl, I’m lonely, I don’t have anyone to break down to when I’m sad, I do it on my own, recover on my own and break down again on my own. I don’t share my losses with anyone, I don’t share my wins with anyone, no one cares to listen so why bother anyone about it. I’m a girl, I’m a virgin, I was raped when I was about 3 months old but somehow my hymen is intact. Don’t worry, i don’t really know the details so I have no PTSD. Fast forward to when I was 9, I was molested by another guy repeatedly, still I have no PTSD though it must have affected me one way or the other because I feel sad about it sometimes. Now, I’m lonely. I don’t know how to interact with people and make friends any more , I require the validation of others to feel confident, it’s really ridiculous dw. I’ve been thinking of just fucking a random guy and getting pregnant, then I’ll have something to live for innit. My grades are good and I know this may sound messed up but I’m well aware that it’s going to mess up my life but who says my life isn’t messed up. My parents love me, maybe a little too much. I love them too but they’re so far away and ngl I’d rather keep it that way. I’ve just been thinking about how much a baby will be there for me, it’s selfish but I don’t feel anything anymore. I haven’t for a while now. I want to feel that love mothers talk about, I want to feel loved, needed, by something, someone, anyone.
I’m a girl, I’m depressed.

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