Confused 2

Many times, I wish I had someone I could talk to, someone to feel my pain, ease my pain, comfort me, reason with me and finally make me smile. I’ve always believed I’m a strong girl, I still am, I live with the principle that strong girls don’t break down, I wish there’s someone I could tell all that’s bothering me, making me sad, like a shoulder to cry on because I’m tired of bottling my emotions and feelings up. Most of my friends believe that I’m always happy like I barely have a breaking moment lol . Of course I do . In fact, I have more of breaking moments in my life than happy ones but none of my friends know because I’m strong and I don’t discuss my issues with friends nor family. Though I have friends and family I could talk to but I hate breaking down in front of people, I’d rather go somewhere secretive and breakdown there. I feel like such a loner most times because even when I’m surrounded with friends and family, there’s no one I can talk to that’s why I have too much to think about in my head always . I’m my own best friend. I wish I could have someone I won’t be afraid to breakdown to, to tell about everything disturbing me without any restrictions, dreamt this person would be my boyfriend but after what happened yesterday, my head has been so messed up with me having or loving someone . I’m feeling so insecure about my heart . I don’t wanna let it out but I’m also so bored and lonely of being my own best friend and comforter. I’ve always tried not to measure my life with others but in this kinda situation, I can’t help it. I’m strong but I’m tired and my head has been so messed up.

3 comments

  1. I perfectly understand how you feel, I also feel like that sometimes but I still find someone I trust to talk to. I would advice you find one also, it would be of great help. And if you don’t mind, we can be secret friends, I am a great listener. @shynetade

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel your pain n I understand perfectly well where u r cmin frm…. I have a note pad in my phone wer I jot down how I feel every now n then due to the fact that everyone sees me as a strong n active woman bt my weakness is overwhelming me day by day couple to the fact that the person I thought gat my back was way more “bader” than the devil himself, I’ve wept, prayed, sang, etc bt it still won’t take the pain away then I decided to feel the pain, let the pain get to me, hit me ryt wer it hurts most, process it n live with it…I tot everything in my life was going well just like I planned it bt got the shocking news of my life few days after my graduation n till date I’m yet to see a reason y what happened happened… all I’m doing now is taking a chill pill, jotting down my pains n letting Jesus take the wheel.

      Liked by 1 person

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