Faceless

My story is quite lengthy but I’ll summarise. I need to pour out my mind . I feel like there’s a burden on my chest and it needs to be lifted . I feel rejected and this brings about mood swings and depression most times. I hate being rejected. So, I had a hangout with my colleagues last night. I have a crush on one of the guys , he got to know about it and I didn’t feel bad or ashamed . Initially when he knew I had a crush , we were not flowing and I let him be after a while because I can never force myself on a guy. I’m a very beautiful girl with curves at the right places. Anyway back to my story! He once told me he’s never gonna get married . Part of the reasons I let him be . I respect people’s decisions. Along the line we started getting along , though I’ve told him I’m no longer interested in him but we still find a way to talk one way or the other. Sometimes we go for weeks without speaking or saying hi to ourselves in the office. He’s a very freaky person, open minded and well respected. We had a lot of things in common and he promised to ‘groom’ me . He even got some sex toys for me . I mentioned it to him once that I wasn’t having sex though I’m not celibate. Yesterday at the hangout this guy acted like I wasn’t there , not even a single attention from him . This is someone i was at his house on Monday . He even used the sex toys on me though we didn’t have sex because I was on my period. We chatted throughout out the day at work and he’s acting like a stranger outside . Wow! I even texted him asking if he’s alone because I thought of going to his place , his answer wasn’t clear . We went to other places , the ignoring continued. Eventually we departed at almost 3 am . This guy left without saying a word or even showing concern or trying to know if I am fine . I’m not saying it’s a must for him to do but other guys were really concerned and made sure I was safe before they left so I feel he should have even tried. I feel so bad and hurt . I really can’t explain how I feel.

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