I was a virgin till i turned 19 but after my moms death , i felt i had nothing else to lose in life because it really broke me . I lost my virginity to my boss who promised my naive mind heaven on earth at that time and ever since then i feel so guilty because the shame and guilt outweighs all the benefits . I am slowly losing it and worst part is that when ever he comes to me i always succumb diving deeper into the sin am committing . I wonder what’s wrong with me . I am no longer close to God i barely go to church anymore i rarely have time for myself, friends and family . I don’t even know what i do with my time and my long distance relationship with my boyfriend isn’t helping at all. I really need help .