Pained

I no longer love my husband. He has cheated and hurt me so many times, I’ve used up all my forgiveness. He is not a man of his words, he makes mouth but no action. The annoying thing is that he doesn’t even have the sense to save or invest. As money comes in he spends it all. Several times I have spoken to him about this but no result. I even went as far as opening an account for saving but nooo, nothing.

He cheats every time he can then comes back begging when caught. I am fed up. I’m only still with him because of my kids. He uses drugs to boost himself as he can’t last long in bed. Those girls don’t know but I do and I suffer this. He doesn’t last long at all in bed. Sex is frustrating, I don’t enjoy it at all.
The annoying thing is that I have never ever cheated on him. I have been honest, open and faithful from the day we started dating till this very moment.
I no longer pray for him. I just pray for myself and my kids. Sometimes, I hope he has an accident and gets really hurt, if not die self… God forgive me for this.
I’m tired of crying and being sad or pretending to be happy. Even if I wanted to cheat, I haven’t found any man worthy enough to cheat on him with because I have a standard. That man has to be way better than my husband in every way before I can cheat.😭😭

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