Unconventional Gay Girl

I’m irrevocably in love with my best friend, she’s the best thing that my life has seen and I love her so much. Unfortunately I know we can’t be together forever but I can’t help but still hold on. Every thing about her is beautiful even the sex. She has a fiancé and I’m trying so hard to learn to let go before she ties the knot but shit is harder than I imagined. It is like finding someone that loves you both the good and the bad and she continues to love me even when I know I can be difficult. I stopped smoking and doing drugs all thanks to her and I can’t be more grateful. I’m leaving the country next year and I won’t be back for a very long time and yet I can’t see myself leaving her. The moment the topic of separating comes up , we end up so broken and she keeps reassuring me that everything would turn out good but how can she be so sure. She’s the best. Everything including sex that I’ve ever had, I can’t imagine not kissing her or playing with her hair, kissing her head, or the feel of her skin against mine. It’s so magical and no matter how much this country is against such union I believe that such feelings could never be an abomination. How can it be a sin when the thought of her is the first thing on my mind every morning, holding hand, talking etc it’s all so beautiful like a fantasy dream that I wish to never wake up from. What will I do without her

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