I sometimes sneak off in the night, leaving my wife and children sleeping, and roam the neighbourhood with a paper bag on my head. It’s a rural place and so I don’t meet many people at two o’clock in the morning. The ones I do meet are always wearing paper bags too and so we don’t exchange any conversation. Maybe a quick rustle and then we move on. Still, it gives me a slight frisson of excitement. A quick thrill. When I get home I put my pyjamas back on and slide silently back into bed where my wife’s warm form awaits. Sometimes she murmurs a question and I’ll tell her that I went for a pee. She hasn’t questioned me further on this matter. It’s autumn now here in England and so it is still quite warm, but I’m not looking forward to winter too much. Maybe I should change my ways, but it seems like such a small thing to ask of the world, just to put up with me. Just to turn the other cheek in the wee hours of the night. Just to live and let live.

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